Thursday, June 14, 2012

O! Woe is me!

This is a Pity post. A Whiny post. A Hug Me Please post.

The story of this post began a few days ago when I called Rada on her birthday, or rather, that's when I first noticed it, and I remember distinctly saying the words, "I'll be on the Island" when it struck hardest: this knot in my throat, drag in my step, quibble in my chin, tears in my eyes sort of sadness.

I'm homesick.

I moved to Seattle two months ago nearly to the day. I haven't been here that long, so this shouldn't be an issue, but what's most sad to me is I haven't really made any friends. I don't have the same extensive network of support that I had when I lived in the Lower Mainland (which I know took time and two months is barely a scratch, but today it makes me sad).

That said, the people I have here are phenomenal and have already swept in to make me feel better, but homesickness is a weird sort of companion.

Fast-forward to today. Today was my day off. I went rowing in the morning, realized I spend most of my time in my wherry singing nonsensical songs to myself (I like doing this), and went home. Gabe and I had coffee and breakfast in bed together, which was a wonderful sort of way to spent any morning. I then went to physio, which is maybe where my reserve of happy started to wear thin. My knee's been really bad recently and I've been icing/ compressing/ elevating/ resting manically. Pain makes me tired. Everything is harder when something hurts.

After physio I returned home, walked the dogs, and did a few chores around the house. I finished Under the Never Sky (go read it!), and then...I worked today, on my day off. And even though it was only for four hours it made me realize I had nothing better to do.

Don't get me wrong. I love my job, and the people there are wonderful...but they are not friends...and work is still work.

This is not how one should spend one's weekend.

Parts of work were awkward due to various interactions, but it was a pretty normal workday...except for the part where I felt homesick, especially for my siblings, the entire time. (I even did a keyword search for books on homesickness). After work I walked home. Gabe hasn't been able to walk we home recently because he's switched to evening shifts for a few weeks. This means his schedule matches mine better, so I see him more often (YES!), but it also means he's not able to walk me home. This hasn't been an issue until this evening when a very drunk man tried to accost me. I evaded and ran, and he crossed the street to jump a couple, trying to steal their guitar. I called 911. Obviously, Gabe's presence wouldn't have dissuaded the jerk, but I would have felt better knowing he was there...and then worried about his safety.


I'm going to the Island in three weeks. Right now that thought's my light in this homesick dark. That and the fact that Gabe will be home in a half hour or so. Hugs, cuddles, kisses, and food are on their way. Tomorrow should be better, too--Onii and I are making plans to hang out.

As I said, the people I do have here are only the best. :)


  1. **hugs**

    Jer and I love you!!!
    We are overdue for hang-out time. Hopefully after we move, my schedule will settle down.

  2. Lala misses you, too, Ms. Ramen and Theatre Date. :) Took me years to build my network in Van. Give yourself some time!

    1. I have no idea how I could ever hope of finding a Lala equivalent. You'll just have to move to Seattle... ;)